1. Accept the Unchangeable – Everything that has happened in your life to this minute is unchangeable. It’s history. The greatest waste of energy is in looking back at missed opportunities, lamenting past events, grudge collecting, getting even, harboring ill will, and any vengeful thinking. Success is the only acceptable form of revenge. By forgiving your trespassers, you become free to concentrate on going forward with your life and succeeding in spite of your detractors. You will live a rewarding and fulfilling life.
Your enemies, on the other hand, will forever wonder how you went on to become so successful without them and in the shadow of their doubts.
Action Idea: Write down on a sheet of paper things that happened in the past that bother you. Now crumple the paper into a ball and throw it at the person teaching this program at the front of the room. This symbolizes letting go of past misfortunes.
2. Change the Changeable – What you can change is your reaction to what others say and do. And you can control your own thoughts and actions by dwelling on desired results instead of the penalties of failure. The only real control you have in life is that of your immediate thought and action. Since most of what we do is a reflex, subconscious habit, it is wise not to act on emotional impulse. In personal relations, it is better to wait a moment until reason has the opportunity to compete with your emotions.
Action Idea: Write down in your diary one thing you will do tomorrow to help you relax more during and after a stressful day.
3. Avoid the Unacceptable – Go out of your way to get out of the way of potentially dangerous behaviors and environments. When people tailgate you on the freeway, change lanes. If they follow you at night, drive to a well-lighted public place.
When there are loud, obnoxious people next to you at a restaurant or club, change tables, or locations. Also, be cautious of personal relationships developed via the Internet. With the massive number of individuals surfing the net, the number of predators increases in like proportion. Always be on the alert for potentially dangerous situations involving your health, personal safety, financial speculation and emotional relationships.
Action Idea: What is one unacceptable behavior you have or allow others to do to you that you will avoid starting tomorrow? Example: The way you drive, being around negative people, walking down dark streets alone late at night, etc.
by Denis Waitley